KelliKyle

Micky D's

2012-01-30T11:05:00.000-08:00

Is Felix's new favorite place.

New Dress

2012-01-16T13:55:00.000-08:00

I had all but given up on sewing for myself, but I had to have this dress. So I tried one last time, and I am pleased with it!

Merry Christmas!!!

2012-01-09T12:03:00.000-08:00

Wendy invited us to Christmas Eve again, which was wonderful. Much more fun than us two staring at Felix and eating fast food. Shauna and Matthew came too.

Felix couldn't wait to open presents and stole this car off the top of his present from the Coplens.

Dinner was awesome. Almost as awesome as dessert, which was red velvet bundt cake from Nothing Bundt Cakes, which is AMAZING!!!

Look how hard at work we sisters are. I'm pretty sure I'm not actually doing anything.

Jamie made this amazing chocolate tree for Wendy.

I love that this picture captures Felix's absolute delight in Jeremy.

Wendy was amazing and got us this game that we ruined in the flood that was out of print. She found a pdf and printed, cut out. and laminated the entire thing for us!

I knew Wendy would love her pajama jeans :)

Jer got a skateboard. And yup, Felix has already fallen off of it and smacked his head.

Felix got a garbage truck from the Coplens which he LOVES, and Jess got him a super cute hoodie, which I LOVE.

Jess got jewelry and nail polish.

Jen got Lil Wayne stuff. Kyle cackled when he saw her open it. He thought it was a joke. But no, she REALLY REALLY loves him.

This is Felix's loot on Christmas morning.

This is as close to a smile as it got, cause his presents were very serious business.

He stayed quite occupied while we opened the two or three presents we hadn't already opened before Christmas. Isn't he so surprised? Even though it got sent to his work and he opened it there?

Andy got this for Felix!

And this is how the rest of the morning went:

This is the next day. He wouldn't let go of his new car even to eat (btw, he got EIGHT new cars for Christmas and LOVES them all).

He didn't even let it go when he was being SO helpful when I was trying to put the tv stand together.

Pre Christmas December

2011-12-31T20:34:00.000-08:00

Felix has found a new love. Dice. He lines them up. He rolls them. He throws them. He eats them.

I can't wait until he can play D&D with us.

And neither can he. He was so upset to leave D&D and go to bed. Poor boy. Justin said I was a horrible mother for taking this picture.

Anderson Christmas Party--The pictures were a little scarce. But it was pretty funny/sad when Steve lowered the Santa Pinata down to Felix and he burst into tears.

Murray Walter Guyman Brown Christmas:

Felix loves carrying boxes around, especially when they are way bigger than him. He was also pretty excited about his new toys from the grandparents and Erinn's family. But Kyle was more excited about this book his mom found that she used to read to him. And I was so excited about the electric throw she got me!!

This is the first clothing I sewed since high school. I made it last year and it is just barely fitting him.

We went to mom's for dinner and Felix biffed it right before making it in the door and got a huge lump. :( He seems to get those at least once a week.

Happy Holidays

2011-12-27T20:21:00.000-08:00

Here is our holiday photo.

Raccoon Boy

2011-12-26T11:44:00.000-08:00

Kevin wanted me to take some pictures of Felix as a Raccoon digging in the trash. I took like a zillion pictures, but none of them were fantastic. But here's some of the better ones.

Thanksgiving

2011-12-16T13:06:00.000-08:00

The pictures came out in a weird order and I'm too lazy to re-order them. But here's our Thanksgiving with Kyle's family:

Felix was about to melt down, but Kyle took him down stairs, and for some reason his shirt came off, and he was quite happy for more than another hour.

This is Elise trying to make Felix play Princesses with her.

I like that Chuck got caught licking his fingers.

We played frisbee after dinner. I am a lot worse at it than I remember.

Felix drops food down his shirt just like I do :)

Erinn always makes a thankful tree.

I liked this leaf the best:

I like ending the night with drunk babies :)

Craftastic

2011-12-01T21:12:00.000-08:00

I've been crafting a lot, but not taking a lot of pictures. Sewing is just so much easier and faster that I don't feel the compulsive need to make sure my project is documented when I'm done. This is the doll I made for Kyle's niece for Christmas. And then I loved it so much I made one for my niece's birthday on Saturday.

Then once upon a time I went to Seattle and came home with 10 projects to do. This is one of them, for Erik:

And one for Taryn:

And one for Keri (this may appear boring, but I am super proud. I made the pattern myself!):

And I've been working on this for the last year at a monthly quilting class. It's a small wall hanging. I just need to get a back on it and quilt it, but the top's finished and that's the most important part!

Dungeons and Dragons

2011-11-29T18:07:00.000-08:00

Our Homeless Baby

2011-11-29T11:01:00.000-08:00

See how homeless he is, he's eating leaves for nutrients.

And has to use public transportation:

But isn't his dad hot?

Felix's First Professional Haircut

2011-11-17T22:32:00.000-08:00

Here's Felix's PRE haircut photos. He was getting quite unruly in the back. We left the top, but I want to cut that too.

Here he's pretending to be good, but really he got done with being good pretty quick and was wiggling all over the place.

Here are the POST photos. As you can tell from the quality of the photos, he was very done with being still.

These are two random photos, but I love them. They were taken one after the other on my camera, but they were taken at least a week apart. And he's just adorable.

Happy Halloween!

2011-11-11T21:46:00.000-08:00

I was super excited about my Halloween Party this year. I studied up on The Price is Right every morning and was super excited to play. I was a little bummed afterwards when I realized that it wasn't a totally group friendly game. But it was a fun party. (And we are Ewoks, not the three bears, and Felix is totally showing how he feels about his costume.)

Kass and Fam.

Jeff and Fam. Jeff looks like a total hard ass, it's awesome.

Brandon, Ashley, and kids. They deserved to come on down, but they didn't :(

This is my cousin Amy, Colby, and my aunt Connie.

Kory, Amy and fam. Amy totally made those costumes.

The Stevenson's clan.

Wendy's family is slowly diminishing in their holiday enthusiasm.

Unlike Shauna's family.

My mom is the best. I'm so happy she dresses up every year :)

Kurt's family's enthusiasm is also diminishing in their enthusiasm, but Krew was super cute.

This is everyone!

Here's some shots of The Price is Right:

Karen was the grand winner! She knew so much about the game she totally deserved to win!

This is after Axel finally figured out that though Dusty was wearing all black, he was not in fact his father...

These two lovers loudly played basketball after the games.

As for our own festivities, we took Felix to a Trunk or Treat in Lehi. I got stuck in Orem because of awful traffic and couldn't make it back home to get our costumes, so I went to Kid to Kid and got Felix a new one. The Trunk or Treat was quite hectic and dark and Felix was a grump. He did much better when I took him to Kass's work to trick or treat. He was the first one there and it was bright and he was able to take his time taking candy from all of Kass's very patient coworkers. That night we just took Felix to Wendy's house and called it good. He had his first time playing in leaves. He wasn't impressed with the pile, but he was really excited when we threw them in the air.

Between Kass's work and Wendy's I had to go to work for supervision. Felix went to the nursery there and hung out for an hour. But before I could get him there he fell in the parking lot and his binki cut his gums open. He was gushing blood. When I brought him in someone just thought it was part of his costume. But it wasn't. And neither was the big glob of blood in my hair. Super sad. But other than that he had so much fun and loves chewing on candy in wrappers and LOVE loves M&Ms. Yesterday morning he brought an empty wrapper to me and kept indicating that he wanted more!

Babysat

2011-11-11T20:59:00.001-08:00

Felix is babysat a lot, but my friend actually took pictures while she watched him and posted them, so I thought I'd share the link:

http://milesandkendra.blogspot.com/2011/10/playmates.html

And I don't know why, but he always has bruises or marks on his face. I swear I don't beat him.

Zombie Run!!!!

2011-11-05T15:22:00.000-07:00

My friend, Stephanie, is always asking me to do 5ks with her. When I found out about this one I was super excited, because it's an excuse to dress up like a zombie. So I trained and trained and trained. And I could not get past 2 miles. So I opted out and did the 1 mile creep and crawl instead, MUCH less stressful.

(I didn't get the "look like a SEXY zombie" memo for this picture, I thought we were going for gross zombies...)

So, Jess, Jer, Muff, Rain and I were all ready to go. We got towards the front and took off when the gun went off...but then I don't know where we went wrong. All of the sudden the race is over and I hadn't even been forced by my body to slow it down. We obviously cut some corner and ended up doing a 1/4 (maybe 1/2) mile creep and crawl...lame us. Oh well. We're still doing it next year again.

(If you can't find us, Rain has the purple pants behind the person in the blue cap, I'm behind her in the blue tank top, then there's kind of a space and then Muff is in the gray shirt).

Seattle Part 2

2011-10-29T09:50:00.000-07:00

Erik went to work with Vic one day for the sole purpose of getting a box to build him and Felix a house. It was such a hit. It was basically the only thing Felix played with from there on out.

We watched Rio one night. The next day Erik disappeared into his room for a really long time. So long that Taryn was sent up to check on him. He later emerged with this lego creation:

We went to the Northwest Trek while I was up there. It sounded SUPER boring, but Keri didn't really want to go to the zoo again, so I agreed. It was a super long drive with all six of us in the little car, but it wasn't boring...I guess it was actually cool ;)

These porcupine were hilarious. The one on the left was retarded I swear. He had some mutation that made his needles grow in super short and he made these sounds when he moved around like a really fat person trying to run a marathon.

There was a super cool tram ride where we drove through this vast open area where the animals roam and can come right up to the tram. I thought it was super cool, Felix hated it (see picture below).

Besides the tram ride there were a bunch of indoor places to explore, which I loved, cause then Felix could get out and play. This one had windows right up next to a wolf area.

Felix was so tired he eventually just fell asleep in his stroller, which he NEVER does, and stayed asleep for probably an hour.

Seattle Part 1

2011-10-21T08:47:00.000-07:00

I went to visit Keri a few weeks ago. Everyone said it was sudden and that I didn't inform anyone, but we had free money cause of Kyle's work so I just went up while the weather was nice. It was super fun and the kids LOVED each other.

This is a really cool park we went to. Felix had SO much fun. He started walking two days before we went out, so he was really able to enjoy the playground.

He even shoved two older boys out of the way when they tried to play with HIS wheel.

Isn't Taryn beautiful? She's such a cool girl. It's kind of a bummer she's in school cause I didn't get to see her as much.

Erik says Felix walks like a Tyrannosaurus Rex...and he does. He as very upset when he wasn't allowed in this water with the ducks.

Vic wasn't too pleased with his help, but he tolerated it. Have I mentioned one of the best parts of visiting Keri is the food? It's really wonderful. Also, Vic helped me by running with me around the track to train for my zombie race. He's a great coach. I'm a lazy runner...

But, wait, there's more to come! Soon, I promise!

Shootin it Up

2011-10-16T22:00:00.000-07:00

Our friends (Stephanie and Shelton) bought a new gun (pictured at the very bottom) and so we went shooting with their guns and dad's guns. I only agreed because there was going to be pop up targets like you see on tv, but that plan got voted out and I got stuck with the canyon. However, it was really fun! I was surprised. I didn't have the ear things last time I went AND I couldn't hit anything, so this was much more fun. AND I only got one kick back bruise, so that was better than when I was younger and everything hurt me.

Disney Show

2011-10-07T09:15:00.000-07:00

Jessica's school had a Disney show. They each had to pick a disney character and do the hair and make-up of someone to make them that character.

This was the MC. She is IN LOVE with Felix. She thanked Kyle for being the father of this child and for giving birth to him, and told us to get conceiving.

Felix was IN LOVE with King Triton (King Trident according to the program). He just stared and stared at him. He also won (King Triton).

Jamie looked freaking gorgeous. I guess it took her hours to brush her hair out though.

Sally

Finding Nemo

This was the actually walk around. Felix walked about half of it, then made his legs go limp so he didn't have to walk anymore. What a true lazy Murray.

Notice Jessica is carrying him.

And I thought I'd include our Halloween costume pictures, cause I'm SOOO excited!

State Fair Substitute

2011-09-30T08:50:00.000-07:00

We planned a trip to the State Fair with our friends. But then they decided Salt Lake was just too far away and that Thanksgiving Point was a sufficient substitute. I cared at first, but it quickly went away. Although I missed the great sideshows the State Fair has to offer. There is really no substitute for that.

My pictures loaded backwards, kind of, mostly randomly, but I have no desire to fix it. This is Legend, Stephanie and Shelton. It could've been a great picture if I hadn't cut Shelton off.

Legend thought it was great to push Felix around in his stroller.

This is how dessert after went. Very chaotically and messy:

Felix and Lege LOVED the indoor area. It was the first play place that Felix has really appreciated and he thought it was fantastic.

This is Stephanie and Baby Gray chilling while the kids played inside.

This horse was massive. So massive Kyle would not get too close to it.

This was Felix's look of indifference as the horse tried to eat him. He just slowly pulled his legs farther and farther up.

Happy Birthday Felix!!!

2011-09-25T19:55:00.000-07:00

Felix turned ONE!!! Kyle found this great idea to buy a men's shirt and take a picture of him in it every year to see him grow, obviously I'll put a new number on it every year.

Here's the cakes I made for his birthday. I planned for way too many people, but better that than not having enough ;) I did a trial run with the raccoon just to make sure that it would turn out okay.

These are the cute things I made to make it a forest party. I made acorns out of donut holes and masks out of felt. And to give credit where credit is due, Kyle, Kass, Wendy, Justin, Jamie and Jer (Jess was there for like a second, but somehow disappeared) all were in an assembly line to make the masks.

Lastly, I made this special jacket to make Felix into a raccoon. One of my friends came kind of late and so it was really dark. She has a little girl around 2 years old and she saw Felix making his way toward her and screamed in terror that a raccoon was coming toward her and would not be comforted until they put her in the car in spite of their insistence that it was just a little boy.

Here are some of the friends that came, I think everyone had their picture taken except mom and our friends the Bischofs and I know there was a picture of Nick, but I'm not sure where it went.

Us.

Ashley, Nixon and Ashdon (Ashdon makes me so excited for Felix to grow up, they kind of look alike and they both seem to be all over the place, and they are both adorable!)

Wendy, Jamie, Justin and Jer. Jess was working :(

Rain & Syd. Riley and Cole were there too...again, not sure where their pictures are.

Dad. Kass forced that mask on to him.

Kass, Jerome, Story and Gauge.

Kory, Amy, Axel, and Dani.

My friend Reilly. We went to London together. She came with her husband and two girls. It was her daughter that was terrified of Felix.

This was how distressed I was about trying to get Felix to open presents. He was done with the party after cake. I was not smart enough to do presents and then cake. He hates being cleaned up and so trying to make him sit still after that was not easy. So it ended up being me opening presents for him.

After the party he rifled through the cupboards while I cleaned stuff up like a true Raccoon.

Then while Kyle had his back turned for like a second, he did this:

Thanks to everyone who came! It was a great first birthday bash for Felix, but mostly a great celebration that Kyle and I have been parents for a year and have a really great kid.

Oh, Rob

2011-09-09T11:52:00.001-07:00

So, you've all heard about Rob and how he is sick of posts that are not Kyle or Kitty centric. Well, he came up with his own solution for all your viewing pleasure:

Www.KYLEkelli.blogspot.com

Erinn Visits--AGAIN!

2011-09-02T12:37:00.000-07:00

Erinn came to visit us, but really she was just killing time before her Aspen Grove trip, but we'll take what we can get. So, the Juab county fair was in town at the same time, so we made the most of it. They sent out a REALLY big packet about the many adventures the fair would bring, but it was quite a small thing when you went there irl. But we had a lot of fun. We all went to see the exhibits in the hot hot sun and Saturday night we went to the DEMOLITION DERBY!! Coolest thing ever. And Janet watched the babies, which I will be forever grateful for!

There were some cool things I may make sometime in my life, like this owl bib and this cat quilt (you'll never guess who wants the quilt). And I liked looking at the animals...Felix didn't love them eating his toes so much. This is the picture I took of Janet and Felix as we left for the derby. They were a little bit far away.

The derby started out awesome. Lots of action, we were having a great time.

Then these clouds started inching their way to us.

And the wind started blowing, and the rain started falling (but not heavy enough to stop the sand from getting in our eyes and pelting my bare calves), and then the lightning came and the fire marshal evacuated the stadium.

And Elise was VERY scared.

So we went to our cars like we were told and chilled there for about a half hour until we were allowed back in the arena.

And it was pretty good from then on.

Until a girl got hurt and it took this many firemen to help her:

And apparently it was tacky for me to be taking pictures and talking about how bored I was with her injury.

Here's a picture resulting from my boredom. And yes that is the toenail polish Rainey applied on the 4th of July--and it is still on my toes.

Finally they went on with it. This blue car rolled over not one, but TWO different cars. He was pretty amazing.

But another car was smoking out of control when he hit the second one and I missed the actual roll :(

Another weekend, while Erinn was still here, our friends Shelton and Stephanie invited us to a slip and slide party. It was really really fun. Connor was very shy and worried people would know he was there for the slip and slide because he was in a swimsuit. Then he was scared it would be too scary. But he quickly got over all those fears and was going down non stop.

Erinn was sweet enough to take some really lovely pictures of me--like this one of me about to sneeze and the one below it of me trying not to get water in my mouth...You should zoom in on it. It's a really lovely one :)

That damn cat

2011-08-28T13:35:00.000-07:00

My cat is so dumb sometimes (but I love her). I put her in the bathroom one day when she was trying to kill a bird. I forgot about her. And then when I remembered I tried to open the door and it wouldn't open. She had got a drawer open and it was blocking the door. I did my best to shut the drawer through the door crack but couldn't. I called in my back up (Wendy and Jamie). Wendy couldn't get the drawer closed either, so we moved to plan B.

Which involved the smallest person climbing through the window. Lucky Jamie!

She got in and let the cat out and kitty was just so happy, but hardly grateful.

Felix Overload (so stay clear Rob)

2011-08-26T09:35:00.000-07:00

This is our friend's new baby (Gray, Legend's brother)

We went swimming with Story, and Felix was SOOO happy!

After (or maybe before) swimming he ate Kyle's face and was laughing hysterically,

even though he looks like he was bawling.

He love loves the cat door. He plays with it every day. I am waiting for him to climb through it one day.

And Kyle is nicer than me and lets him play in the dryer, which he LOVES. But I'm too lazy.

Kyle claims Felix LOVES The Tim and Eric show, I don't know about that though, that show is pretty lame.

Kraftiness

2011-08-23T15:52:00.000-07:00

These are some of the crafting I've been up to. This is a shirt I made Felix (and Kass made one for Gauge, yeah, they wear the same size).

This is a headband I made out of tights that were all runny.

So, these top two images won't flip, so turn your head :)

This is an example of the bookmarks I'm teaching at Robert's. Below is a gift I made for a wedding.

This was Kass's birthday present. I tried doing it with our names, but it looked stupid cause there weren't enough names, but I added in our next two planned names and it looked great.

And lastly, I've been working on stuff for Felix's party. I'm making masks for everyone (of owls, raccoons, foxes, and skunks). And this jacket if for Felix. I'm so so excited.

Randomacity

2011-07-31T13:01:00.000-07:00

One day we went on a walk and unbuckled Felix when we got home. Some neighbor girls came by with a dumptruck toy FILLED with live snails. We went to look at them and then Kyle looked back at Felix and saw him fall face forward into the cement. His nose got pretty roughed up and someone said he looked like a kitty, so Jess and I made him into one.

This is Kitty enjoying D&D.

This is Felix swimming in his pool, which he loves to do more than anything.

When his first tooth was coming in he chewed on his top lip a lot and always looked a little strange...

Kitty loves to catch poor animals...like ducklings...she's brought home two so far. We took them to the shelter.

This is the same duckling, just another picture, but both ducklings looked the same (at least to me). And no comments on how I should get rid of my cat, because I won't. Who else will play D&D to me?

L.A.

2011-07-28T21:04:00.000-07:00

We went to L.A. in early June. Kyle's sister lives there. And I guess since she won't live here, L.A. is the next best place for her to be, since it's basically my favorite place. On our way there we stayed in Primm (cause my blood clot problems would not allow for an all nighter nor a sleep over in the car). Then after Primm we stopped in lovely San Dimas. This park may actually be in La Verne, but it was my very favorite park when we lived there and this is my very favorite tree--in the WORLD.

However, I have grown very afraid of heights since we lived there and couldn't make it far. Kyle made sure to document how high i was so every one could see what a baby I am.

So, this picture really does NO justice to this situation, but here it is anyway. This is Erinn's street. It is craziness. It is basically straight up. It really freaked me out.

So, this trip was basically the most fun ever. They have a freezing cold pool we swam in (and a diving board!), we went to a Tim Burton exhibit (while they went to church ;)), shopping, out to eat, the beach and BEST OF ALL: the wax museum. So here are way too many pictures of the wax museum and then a few of the beach at the end. To see swimming pictures go to Erinn's blog here.

Sorry if that was too many wax pictures for you. I was totally in heaven. If it wasn't enough, Erinn has more here. Here's us at Santa Monica beach. It was really cold, as were our italian sandwiches at that point. But it was still quite enjoyable.

On our way home we stopped in Primm again. Different hotel, but basically it was all the same. We played some D&D on the hotel bed before resting up for the journey home. However, the reason we were stopping was because the last NBA play off game was going on and when we stepped into the casino all the tvs were showing us that it was very much over. Kyle was pretty disappointed. However, we could not just jump in the car and be on our way (blood clot problems aside), cause our kid smelled awful. But don't worry, I got to hold him, squishing whatever was going on through the unbelievably long check in process. When we finally got to our room--on the 11th floor--we stripped the kid down to reveal the BIGGEST blow out in history. It required a family shower to cleanse the kid. It was quite the adventure. I'm pretty sure I was gagging the entire time. Lovely end to our trip.

However, (other than this last tale) it was an awesome trip and I'm DYING to go back again before it gets less warm again. Maybe I'll force Erinn to take us back with her when she visits in two weeks.

Cousins

2011-07-25T14:33:00.000-07:00

We babysat Story one day, sometime between Kyle's birthday and now (oh, yeah. It was after Amy had her baby and I was filling in)... And we was Jessica and I, not Kyle :) Jess decided to make cookies with Story.

Which she did a great job helping until her hunger overtook her, and she proceeded to take a bite from each cookie.

We let Felix play in a car like this at Kory and Amy's and he had such a blast we went out and bought one. But don't let that smile deceive you. He only has fun in it for like five minutes at a time.

Felix's cousin Leisha gave him this nasty tattoo at the pride festival when I wasn't looking.

This is Felix at the Festival:

While I was babysitting the cat caught this mouse. I put it in a little tupperware bed with grass and let it die in peace on top of the fridge where no child or cat could get it.

But unless mice vanish when they die I think it was really just fine and ran away inside my house...cause this is what I found on top of the fridge...

Story insisted on lunch out under the slide, which is fine by me since she thinks my bar stool cushions are napkins.

I don't know why, but Story puts these gloves on every time she's over here.

Around this same time all of Wendy's kids came over and we played the original Mario. We passed the remote in a circle and each took a turn. We passed it to Felix who mostly just chewed on it while the time slowly ran out on his turn and Mario just stood there. But then a turtle started come and we all yelled "jump" and HE DID IT! Honest, no one else was any where near the remote and at EXACTLY the right time Felix made Mario jumped and avoided a fatal collision with the turtle.

I don't know if it was the same night, but most likely it was probably a different night, Justin came over to play Dungeons and Dragons with us, which is the best game of all time, just so you know.

Birthdays

2011-07-18T14:50:00.000-07:00

Kevin and Kyle's birthdays are a day apart (wink, wink). Actually, they were born on the same day three years apart, but since Kyle arrived just minutes after midnight the doctor let him mom claim the day before so they'd have their own birthdays. But we still celebrate them together every year. But they do get their own cakes every year, so we have to eat twice as much cake. Sometimes it's quite daunting.

Felix was so good in his exiled corner throughout the festivities.

Grandma Walter, who insists Felix is ALWAYS cold and ALWAYS hungry shared her hat, but he hated it.

And this is Grandpa Walter.

Seattle

2011-07-15T07:54:00.000-07:00

After Spokane we flew to Seattle. Unfortunately Kyle had to catch a connecting flight home, but I stayed and spent a week with Keri. It was SOO much fun. We did the usually thrift store shopping (and all of them have a mechanical horse, strangely) and I got some great stuff.

But the BEST BEST part was our trip. Vic got his dad's car (shown below in all its glory) and we drove down to Great Wolf Lodge. Which is the best place ever and should be next summer's Anderson and/or Murray family vacation destination.

Both kids insisted on sitting next to Felix, so all three adults got the front. Keri and I traded off on the super comfortable hump

The kids had their own little cove with bunkbeds and a tv, Vic and Keri had the main bed and Felix and I had the pullout couch next to Keri and Vic.

There were two main parts to the Great Wolf Lodge. One was this interactive video game type thing. You had this wand that activates stuff all over the hotel. You go up to a tree and point your wand at it and it tells you your mission For ex: to find all five crystals--you find the crystals by wandering the lodge [but there are hints in your adventure guide] and point your wand at them when you find them. After finding all the crystals you return to the tree and you get a "rune" for completing the mission. After all the missions you have all these runes to fight the dragon with. You go in this room with this huge screen and use your runes (through this touch screen box in front of you) and your wand to fight a dragon that is on the screen. It was SO much fun for kids and adults.

And you totally get a certificate and a button for becoming a Master Magi.

The second awesome part was the waterpark. It is indoors, so it doesn't matter what the weather is, and it is nearly as big as seven peaks. There is a wave pool, slides for ALL ages (you should have seen the fear on Keri's face the first time down) and play areas for babies up to older kids. It was so so much fun. And it was super hot in there so getting in the water was enjoyable, not freezing.

Unfortunately, it was a little TOO warm for Felix in there. As we left (luckily AFTER we went out the front doors) he puked everywhere. It was the biggest puke I've seen from him. Then he wouldn't eat or sleep and just kept crying and crying and I ended up going to Instacare. The doctor there was a huge idiot. He sent us to a children's hospital over an hour away because he was sure Felix's intestines were folding in on themselves or the valve to them was messed up. At the ER the doctor said Felix was just constipated and that there was no way those other things were happening. He said the valve thing only shows up in teeny tiny babies. That doctor was awesome, the other one, not so much. So after an enema Felix was back to normal. Keri and I figured he just had a combination of heat exhaustion and constipation and that's what was wrong. But he was super cute in his gown :)

He also took a bath in Keri's sink, which the kids just thought was hilarious. Especially when Felix started playing with himself. Erik yelled out, "He's doing what I do!" We were all doubled over in laughter. Keri got a good shot of it below.

We went bowling one night cause the kids wanted to (and I wanted to too). Felix was really good, but poor Erik got a headache so he just slept on the chairs and didn't play.

I am super pretty when I don't get a good shot...

But Vic is super serious...

On Mother's Day Vic made Keri and I breakfast and I got my first Mother's Day card--from Taryn! Kyle bought me some flowers for mothers day...but bought them in Utah while I was in Seattle and sent me a picture. Keri said that really peaked out Kyle's weirdness to her. Later in the day we went to the Family Fun Center (which was strangely crowded). Then Vic took the kids and Keri and I went to another Goodwill and then to dinner.

My last night there Taryn and Erik both wanted their hair french braided.

It was a totally awesome trip. One of my best up there. And flying back to Utah alone with Felix was totally fine. I can't wait to go up again!

Spokane

2011-07-10T21:37:00.000-07:00

Here I am, finally catching up! And I'm not even using the laptop I insisted I needed to get my pictures with. Oh well, at least I'm blogging. At the end of April and beginning of May Kyle and I flew to Washington with Felix. We spent the weekend with Kyle's dad and then we flew to Seattle where I stayed with Keri and Kyle flew home. So this first post is about Spokane and the next will be about Seattle.

Felix was a champion flyer. He was so good. He sat and played with the windows, napped, ate, didn't cry. Even with the ear popping stuff he was totally good through.

Our flight first landed in Seattle where we stayed on the plane then continued on to Spokane. However, some idiot deemed Spokane unsuitable for landing and made us continue on to Portland. There was drops of snow when we were supposed to land and we were the only flight that was rerouted. Some of our fellow passengers immediately boarded a flight and were on their flight for over 4 hours as the plane stopped in various cities before returning to Spokane. Luckily, we were put on a direct flight with a four hour layover in Portland.

This was super fortunate so that Felix could play, and nap, and have a ginormous blowout that was horrendous. It was seriously everywhere. I think Kyle is still mad that I didn't just let him throwout Felix's outfit (it was my very favorite and still is). I don't know how we would have been able to take care of it on an airplane. I had to change him during the stop in Seattle and that airplane bathroom is just not big enough for the job, especially when Felix decides that when the diaper comes off he should pee some more. It was everywhere in the bathroom, including on me. When we weren't cleaning Felix up we were able to play the board game we had in our carry on. The place we set up camp was totally vacant so we could spread out and play our game while Felix played with his toys.

Felix's favorite part of the plane rides were playing with the windows. He was fascinated with them. He stared out them for long stretches and banged on them and yelled at them for other long stretches (until Kyle stopped him because he worried about him bugging other passengers).

Our first day there was pretty much blown on all the detours in our traveling. So instead of a whole Friday in Spokane (which we got up at 4am so we could have) we had an evening. And Felix was a complete zombie. He did a lot of staring off into space. It really weirded me out. He is always so happy and energetic and noisy that I thought something was seriously wrong with him. But he was back to normal after sleeping that night. He did great on a blanket set up in the hotel.

Kyle's dad got out this electric ball thing for him to play with and it kept him entertained for awhile.

He wasn't as impressed with Mrs. Pickle, Kyle's dad's bird. But I was. I am so in love with that bird and am insisting on dibs on it over Elise. She's too young to deserve such dibs. She can have Mrs. Pickle once I die.

She seriously was so great. She would just hang out and nibble on stuff or fly around to show off. I love her.

This is Quinn's mom who came over just to meet Felix (Quinn is Kyle's half brother--there are pictures of him further down). Felix and Quinn were so in love. Felix could not keep his eyes off Quinn. He thought he was just the coolest and Quinn seemed to really like Felix, which surprised me. I thought Quinn would just think, eh, babies, yuck. But he hung out with Felix a ton! We haven't seen Quinn for around 7 years. It was so great to hang out with him. He came up to stay with his dad while we were in town and we had so much fun with them both.

This is just fyi for all us in Utah. (It says "Eyes like diamonds Everyone dies in Utah This day will tell). This was just hanging up at a mall in Spokane...

So, I looked up stuff to do in Spokane and this Riverfront Park looked way cool. I mean, they had a garbage goat that really ate your trash! But apparently not everyone was as fascinated with it. There was a lot of mocking (but mind you no one else looked up anything else to do).

This slide and the merry-go-round below were both at the park too. I thought the slide was super cool, Felix did not care about it at all. His face was just neutral through the whole thing as if nothing at all was happening.

This is Kyle's dad trying to convince Quinn to sit on a clown's lap for $5. He wouldn't do it even when I threw in another 5.

I stayed in the car while Kyle got a picture of John Stockton's Grill in the pouring rain. Pretty cool, eh? John Stockton should've been there. Then maybe the rain would've been worth it.

Here's one of our many games we played up there.

Brian (Kyle's dad) showered me with presents while we were up there, which of course I love!

The last day we were there we went to the park and took lots of pictures. I think we took every combination of people possible. But here are some of the best ones we got.

My Religious Journey

2011-06-20T11:47:00.000-07:00

This is going to be a really long post. One to beat out the best of Rainey's. I've been working on this for awhile and now I'm ready to share it:

I am not writing this to ask for help or advice. I am writing this for myself, and sharing it with you so you can understand. And I finally feel like I can wrap my head around it because I finally came across something that explains what I've been going through. This is the link: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scrupulosity. It fit my life so perfect and helped me feel not so crazy, which helped me find my voice to talk about what I've been going through. So here it is.

I've always been a bit obsessive. If I'm tapping my fingers I need to tap all of them an equal number of times. When I get into something (a book, tetris, a tv show) I really get into it and it's almost all I think of. If a thought comes into my head (like that bees may come in through the dryer vent at night when the dryer was unhooked) I act on it obsessively, to the point that I don't sleep hardly at all (because I'm checking to see if bees are coming through the vent). I grew up in a very religious home that deeply relied on the spirit and personal revelation. When I made decisions that were big, I would pray a lot about them. It started out pretty normal (maybe, I don't know) but then it spread to EVERY area of my life. Including what apartment to live in, who to live with, what classes to take, who to date and even the most meaningless decisions, such as which way to drive home.

I remember one memory especially vividly that illustrates what my life is like in the church. I ran into my cousin Amy on BYU campus one day. We had been doing it quite frequently that semester and would stop and talk for awhile before going to our separate classes. This one day she was telling me about this experience she had. I will probably totally get the details wrong, but it was the impression I took away, not the details, that mattered to me in a spiritual regard anyway. She told me she was dating someone who went away to England. She was really distraught about whether or not she should be with him or not. Then in the midst of making her decision she was on campus and saw a boy wearing a t-shirt with the flag of England across it. She said she saw that t-shirt and knew without a doubt she needed to follow the person she was dating to England and be with him.

This is how I interpreted her experience: God used the boy in the t-shirt to communicate with Amy to help her with her decision. Thus, God could be depending on me to send these kind of messages to others without me even knowing about it. So in addition to everything else, I now needed to dress with the spirit. I would go through outfit after outfit silently praying in my mind to find out what I needed to wear that day in order to be God's messenger. My daily act of getting dressed turned into a half hour ordeal, just like driving home sometimes would because I had to “follow the spirit” to know exactly what turns to make and now what t-shirt, pants, shorts, dress, shoes to wear.

One especially hainus area of this was my patriarchial blessing. It said that I would meet my husband in my “future schooling”. I was certain that meant in college. So when I met the most perfect boy I have ever met in high school I proceeded to make our lives living hells. I fell in love with him. I wanted to marry him. I couldn't imagine being without him. But because my patriachial blessing said so, I had to break it off. Thus ensued a series of getting together and breaking up. It was pretty awful. I dated people in college and no one compared to the connection I had with him.

I went on my mission and almost immediately started feeling extra crazy. I had an insanely mean companion. She lied incessantly (or at least I'm assuming she did) about everything from being a Somoan princess to having cancer and a hole in her heart and that she just tricked the doctor so she could go on a mission. In public she was the sweetest girl, no one could get enough of how kind and generous she was. In private she wouldn't talk to me and made me feel very hated. I felt really alone at the time when I really needed support cause my depression and anxiety started increasing to the point that I couldn't handle it myself. I was crying all the time and felt that if I did one thing wrong (like not loving my companion, or being exactly on time to class, staying awake the entire day, studying nonstop) that not only was I going to hell, but I was ruining the future of whoever I was supposed to save on my mission. The pressure was more than ever before. I started seeing a therapist in the MTC. He told me he had one other patient just like me and that he did get better. How? I asked. He answered this: he left the church. I was appalled at the answer and luckily never had to see that therapist again.

The loneliness of the MTC was only amplified in the mission field and the craziness intensified. I had companions who spent most of their time being lost in the city and others who went on dates with members claiming the mission president told her to. I felt like every mis-step of my own or my companion was taking away from the mission I was there to do and every wrong decision was leading me closer to hell. I was overwhelmed. I remember having a thought that maybe Nephi just killed Laban and wasn't led by God at all, and then freaking out because those kind of thoughts just had no place.

I finally asked for help and saw a therapist and a psychiatrist on my mission. I was put onto antidepressants and antipsychotics. I finally felt myself calm down. I was finally able to handle others' mistakes, a lot of my own, and feel okay in a very imperfect environment. And I finally decided and felt good about marrying the boy from high school in spite of what my blessing had said.

I married Kyle and things changed a bit. I was still depressed and anxious some, but nowhere near what I experienced on my mission. Religiously, I no longer had my parents seeing if I went to church every week. I had a husband who didn't mind missing a week here and there (especially since our church was at 8am). So we didn't. He did a lot of things different than my family. Sometimes he shopped on Sunday (especially when the Wiis were restocked at Kmart on Sundays), his family went out to dinner on Sundays for special occasions. So I went with his flow and I liked it.

Realizing I wasn't making any of my own decisions and that I never let myself question the church, because I couldn't decide anything except that it was true, because my schooling rode on that decision. I had to believe it and act the part in order to keep my ecclesiastical endorsement and reduced tuition. So I just kept going with it and kept doubting thoughts out with anti-anxiety medication.

I finally graduated BYU and nothing was riding on my beliefs. I had a job at a public school, I wasn't in school and I was going to attend the U, where it didn't matter, and I was married to Kyle who talked about doubts with me.

Then along came Prop 8 in California. I was completely against Prop 8. After working with same sex couples and having them be some of the very best parents I worked with at Wasatch, I could not imagine denying them the right to marry. No one should not be able to be with the person they love. I felt really strongly about this and then the church got involved. They were pushing Prop 8. I felt that was a terrible misuse of power. The leaders of the church may be politcally against Prop 8, but when they began to speak out on it they made it a spiritual issue and no good member could ignore what the prophet was telling them about this political issue. The whole thing got me really wound up. The topic could not even be discussed at family dinner I would get so angry. Then one of my brothers sent around an email that said if it did not pass then the church would be obligated to marry same sex couples in their temples [which was horribly untrue, but I didn't know this at the time]. I thought, oh, I guess that makes sense why they got involved. I read it at work, then I was walking around the halls of work thinking about it and feeling disappointed. I couldn't understand why I was disappointed when I finally had an explanation. Then it dawned on me, I didn't want an explanation that put the church in the right. I wanted a reason to be mad. I wanted a reason to walk away.

And this was what started the ball really rolling. I started to think about every part of the church and I found a lot of things that I just didn't believe. I found that my beliefs did not align with the church and that what I wanted was to walk away. And that scared the shit out of me. I had my decision in my heart, but I could not fathom what would happen if I acted on it. I was certain all my piano students and therapy clients would find someone else to work with if they knew, I knew my parents would be disappointed, I was worried my siblings would no longer allow their kids to be around me, I was certain all my neighbors would hate me, and worst of all, I was terrified that Kyle would leave me.

I called Keri one night. I knew what I had to do if I wanted any peace in my life, but I could not talk to Kyle. True, he was the one who started all these conversations originally, but as I grew more disinterested in the church his interest seemed to increase. I had no idea where he was at and I wasn't sure I could bear to find out. I poured all this out on Keri between my fearful sobs. She assured me that Kyle was such an open loving person that there was no way it wouldn't work out between us, regardless of how he felt about the church.

With Keri's words giving me courage I went up to our apartment. Kyle asked me what was wrong the second I walked in the door (I have a cry face that's not easy to hide). I told him all the things I'd been thinking and that I might want to leave the church and that I was terrified he wouldn't want to be with me anymore. I don't remember how he responded, but I remember he hugged me for a really long time and told me that it didn't matter to him what I wanted to do, that he would support me in whatever I wanted to do.

With Kyle's support I had the peace of mind to be able to make a sure decision. I wasn't really going to church, but the organist kept calling me to sub for him during sacrament meeting. I went one week and played. Incidentally, I had to listen to the speakers in between playing the organ. A high priest got up and began talking about families and while he spoke I decided I just did not agree and I no longer wanted to be part of a church with beliefs that were so different from mine. I don't know if it was that week or the next, but I spoke to the bishop. I told him my decision and asked to be released from my calling. I know he felt like a failure, but he wasn't. He was such a sweet supportive man and I appreciate how much love he showed me that day.

I felt really strange with each step I took away from the church, everything from stopping going to taking off my garments. I was certain I was going to be barraged with a front of hostility and thus defended myself with my own hostility toward all things Mormon. It took me time and my mom's honesty with me to put away the defenses and stop feeling hateful toward the church I had grown up with and accept the wisdom of my sister, Shauna, that the LDS church is right for some people and brings them a lot of happiness. It just doesn't do that for me.

After I officially declared that I wasn't a part of the church to my bishop and those closest to me, I still struggled to know it was right. I miscarried two months after I left. I was certain it was God's punishment. I was certain that because I wasn't a part of the church God would not allow me to have a child. I was not on medication (since I had gone off for the pregnancy) and the only thing keeping me afloat was the busyness of school and my internship. However, when those ended at the end of April I fell into one of the deepest depressions of my life. I was very suicidal. Instead of getting up in the mornings after Kyle left to work I would plan my death. Appointments to study with friends or teach piano were the only things that dragged me into the world of the living. Finally, one day, as I drove to my dad's to teach piano I broke into chest heaving sobs. I could not decide whether to continue driving to my dad's or to the Mental Hospital. Indecision led me to my parents, and it was obvious from my swollen eyes that I was not okay when I got there. I finally told them I was horribly depressed and didn't know what to do. I don't remember if it was them or Kyle that got me to restart taking my medication again and take it from there.

My medication helped immensely. I started feeling better. I passed my licensing exam and got a job. My coworkers (who I had already known from my internship) helped me reinstate good habits, like eating, talking about my problems, taking my medication regularly, etc. I began to get back to myself and accept that miscarriages happen, and it wasn't God's punishment. With Kyle's help I explored other churches and found one I really liked, St. Mary's Episcopal Church in Provo.

We went to St. Mary's regularly and got really involved. I loved the sermons because they mostly focused on how to be a better person. (I know they talked about Jesus and God a lot, but I focused on the other parts). I loved the people there. We were super accepted and people in the church were so excited about us being there. They were beyond excited for us to have Felix. They showered us with attention and love.

I went to therapy because I wanted to be able to feel the spirit in a happy way and not an obsessive way. My therapist was great. He was one that I met with in the MTC (not the one who basically told me to leave the church) and I was in group therapy with him after I came home from my mission early. We worked on my thoughts and he tried to help me get a grasp on my spiritual thoughts. He taught me about reality checking, which is what people do when they have crazy thoughts that are not based in reality. Basically, you talk about your thoughts with other people and check your reality against theirs to bring you back to a more sound place of mind. But I couldn't understand how that could work with my particular thoughts (maybe everyone thinks that when they do this) because God is unseen. If any Mormon were in India and did reality checking their thoughts would show up being totally crazy and not “real” at all. So I don't see how you check religious thoughts out, because that is saying you have to match whatever religious beliefs are around you. So, I really tried, and periodically try now, but I just couldn't get a handle on it. So I decided to stay purely scientifically empirical and accept what I can see and make sense of with my mind for the time being.

I expected Felix's birth to be my turning point. I expected a really spiritual experience when I gave birth and waited for that moment to show me that there is a God, there is a world beyond this world, and this was a little spirit I was bringing into it, just like I was always taught. It didn't happen. Felix's birth was really amazing and one of the best experiences ever. It was so cool to see him come out and hold him and love him. But it was not spiritual. It didn't bring the spiritual certainty I expected and I was in the same place spiritually as I was before Felix came.

It was hard to go to church with Felix because of worries about him getting sick, or crying during the sermon, or just getting up and out of the house by the time it started. So Kyle and I got kind of used to not going to church at all. Which started conversations about why we go at all. As I further let myself be honest with myself I found that I loved the social aspects of church more than anything else. I didn't feel the spirit really when I was there or had a deep affinity for the doctrine. Honestly, I really wasn't sure whether God was there or not. I pray sometimes and ask that if he is there he help me out, but I can't say I know he's there or feel he's there or hope he is there. I just don't know.

I still don't know if there is a God. I don't know if you can know that. But I believe that if there is a God, he is a loving, understanding God. I believe he understands that right now I can not actively believe in him and try to follow his spirit without compromising my mental health. I can not separate my obsessive thoughts from religion right now. I periodically try. But I have not yet succeeded in maintaining a separation of God and obsession. So right now I just have to keep myself separate from religious thoughts and stay in the completely rational side of my brain. Maybe someday I'll be able to walk the middle ground, but not today.

Giving up

2011-05-13T20:29:00.000-07:00

I tried to finish this blog over and over and now my computer crashed with the rest of the pictures. So here are SOME of the pics from our trip to the aquarium with Dusty, Sarah and Leisha. Ps, all these pictures are Sarah's. I stole them. Dusty was the photographer most of the time.

Puppy Catch Up

2011-05-10T15:39:00.000-07:00

I have a little bit of catch up blogging to do before I can post my trip (even though Keri says blogging is so out).

These are Janet's new puppies. Felix wasn't that interested and when they bit his toes he was quite upset. But I l

ROOM

2011-04-29T15:44:00.000-07:00

I just finished this book, and It. Was. Amazing. I seriously loved it. It's written perfectly from the point of view of a five year old. I think everyone knows how sleep deprived I am, yet I got to a really critical point in the book after feeding Felix in the middle of the night and I stayed up for over an hour reading because I just couldn't stop.

Church, Crafts, Eating and Prom

2011-04-28T11:04:00.000-07:00

Here are some of the crafts I've been up to lately. But Blogger is being dumb and won't let me delete or rotate this first photo...But anyhow. I made this hat for Rainey.

I started these blocks when I was pregnant the FIRST time in 2008...just finished them...

I made these pajamas for Gauge. I really wanted to keep them. So did Kyle. It took all our will power to give them to Kass :)

And I made these at the request of Keri's kids for my upcoming trip:

Erik wanted Yoda, but just the head:

And Taryn wanted a SeaHorse.

Recently we took Felix to church for the first time since he was teeny, so I got to dress him up, it made me want to go to church all the time!

And here are some of our eating adventures:

He really hates new things.

But loves eating electronics:

And last Saturday Jess went to Sr. Prom. She is so gorgeous! Those are her friends Amy and Sydney. Also beautiful and really fun girls.

This is her date Ben...

I wanted a picture of her with Felix, but this as close as we'd get to avoid any accidental pukage:

BasketBall

2011-04-19T14:50:00.000-07:00

When the weather was pretending to be nice Wendy and her kids invited us to go play basketball (it's really exhausting--I blame it on my "diminished lung capacity" not my lack of exercise). But even though it's really tiring, it was super fun. We also played on Saturday so Kyle could play and it was even more fun. Felix really loves all the movement, and we added the rule that you get extra points when you save the baby from the ball for his protection. Kyle happened to always be on the winning team, so we played 5 against 1....and he still won. And even though I want everyone to be amazed that Felix is holding the huge basketball on his own, I want everyone to be amazed with Justin more. Wendy's hand was totally in the picture supporting the ball and Justin edited it out. He really is so awesome.

The Fence Post

2011-04-12T18:34:00.000-07:00

I was asking Kyle what to title this blog and I said, "What's a clever title for the fence post?" And as I said it out loud I realized how clever I am, without even trying :) So, we'll start out with the cute part of the post. Above is Felix while we were digging holes and cementing in the posts for the fence. He was very happy. He eventually got way too cold and had to hang out inside with Grandma, and he didn't even freak out at all. In fact, he fell asleep while playing on the floor.

This is Felix while we were putting up the fence panels. It was snowing (even hailing) outside.

So really Felix stayed inside, but I bundled him up to go say hi to Kyle and Dad while they put up the panels.

I wish I had a picture of him while dad made the gates, but I was too busy calming him down. Every time dad would use a power tool he would burst into tears and just wail. He eventually had to go inside during this too.

I am so excited about our new fence. I am so excited to sit in my backyard and not have to talk to anyone. And I am so excited to be able to tan my post baby belly without anyone seeing me.

Kyle and Dad and Mom did such a great job. Thank you SO much for all the help!

Dad really loved my help. He said to get some screws and he said they could be as big as 3/8...but I heard 3/4...whoops. Dad made them work anyway. What a crafty fella.

Ms. Jessica

2011-04-05T19:13:00.000-07:00

Jessica is a senior--crazy, eh? She is actually all finished with her credits and in hair school now. She asked me to take her senior photos. Thankfully she's very photogenic, cause I'm no photographer. But I had tons of fun taking her pictures with Wendy and Felix.

This is Felix at the first site we went to (it was a little too windy):

He had a ton of fun at the place where we ended up taking her pictures, but HATED when we took him out of the stroller and put him on the grass.

Just Cute

2011-03-28T16:43:00.000-07:00

Medical Update

2011-03-24T17:01:00.000-07:00

In a nutshell, no more of this:

But at least 6 more months of this:

Okay, maybe it won't be my baby tossing back the pills, but there will be lots of pills for me over the next 6 months.

Here's the full story:
About two weeks ago I started getting chest pain. It came and went, so mostly I ignored it. Then when it got worse, Kyle convinced me it was heartburn since I had only been eating girl scout cookies for days and days. So I chewed up tons of Rolaids, but it didn't relieve any of the pain. I started looking around the internet cause I swore I was having a heart attack. Kass even almost convinced me to go to the ER Sunday night since I texted her about it around 3am and she was up for some reason. I looked on the internet some more and since it was just chest pain and not shortness of breathe or pain in my limbs I waited it out until morning. I was convinced I was having a heart attack or blood clot, since I had just started on the birth control patch. Their website said blood clots in the lungs causing chest pain were possible.

So I called the doctor first thing in the morning. The nurse called me back and said I should stop using the pain pills I had for my root canal last week. I said, "The doctor doesn't think it's the birth control?" And she replied that it wouldn't just start giving me symptoms. I reminded her I had just started it and she said, "Oh, I didn't realize that. Well, I guess the only way we'd know would be for you to stop using the birth control and see if it goes away." Way to check with the doctor...

So I figured she was dumb and there was something wrong still. I had called around to clinics trying to find an emergency doctor for Felix (it was a false alarm) and the Art City Clinic said they did walk ins. So I went down there and they said they did walk ins...at night, but they'd fit me in anyway. I saw Dr. Taylor. They thoroughly checked out my heart and my blood. While we waited he said the muscles around my ribs were probably just inflamed from working out and it was no big deal, but he could only say that for sure if he ruled out heart and blood problems, so I needed to wait for the test results.

So then he comes back hanging his head low, and says there's bad news. He said the test doesn't say for sure there's a problem, just that there MIGHT be a problem and he was super embarrassed to send me to the hospital for a $1300 test, but he had to be safe.

So they injected me with some stuff that made my chest feel on fire and made me certain I peed my pants (but I hadn't). This x-ray machine spun around me as I alternately held my breathe and breathed normal. So I was told to wait for the results. Then a tech came down and told me I needed to go back to my doctor because something showed up on the CT.

They left my IV in my arm in case I needed meds, so I drove from Provo to Springville with the thing hanging out my arm. I got there and he said when the radiologist called he started saying, "I know, I know, I sent you a dumb referral, but I was being safe" and the radiologist said, no, there was a small blood clot it's a good thing you sent her.

So then we discussed options. I could go to the hospital or do outpatient. I was really freaking out (since he described all the ways I could've died) so I decided to go in. But then Kyle and I talked and we decided I'd just go home and if my breathing started being a problem we'd go in. So Kyle ran to the pharmacy and got my meds. I got pills to take daily (for 6 months to life) and shots ($75 for each shot) for the next 5 days, every 12 hours. The nurse showed me how to give myself shots and I was a big baby about it. They have to go into my belly (into the fat :)) and every jab leaves a little bruise, even if I don't push it in all the way.

The morning shots were better cause I just kind of stabbed myself when I was half asleep. The night shots were worse cause I would start and then woos out. So I had my first check today and my blood is sufficiently thin. But I have to be careful not to hit my head (which I did do yesterday, so hard that I bruised) or my brain will bleed. And I have to have my blood checked regularly for thickness. But since it was good today, I don't have to do shots anymore, but I have some on hand in case it thickens up again.

The medicine only thins the blood, but it doesn't attack the clot. My body should break it up over time and my chest pain should lessen, cause it still is hurting a lot. But over time the clot should disappear and my lung may or may not regain functioning in that area. But the medicine ensures that my body won't make any more clots that will get stuck in life threatening places.

So that's my story.

Happy Birthday Connor

2011-03-20T22:42:00.000-07:00

Connor's birthday is in March, but we saw him in February, so we gave him his present then. I made him a Yoshi (he's fairly obsessed with Nintendo--he says he's addicted) and a cheap movie of Mario, which he watches with all of the tv minutes that he earns. I was super pleased with his reaction to the present.

This is Felix with ALL of his cousins on Kyle's side. We'll never get one of the Anderson side, so it's fun to be able to do it with the Murray side. Felix loves all the attention he gets from them, especially Elise. She says she loves him SOOO much.

My Seamstress Days

2011-03-17T11:53:00.000-07:00

In Jr. High I was a sewing machine. I would sew scrunchies all day and all night...then when scrunchies left the limelight of my life I tried my hand at real clothes and they were always a disaster. But recently I took a quilting class and it gave me back my sewing confidence and I moved onto clothes. So this is what I've made:

Jammies for Felix.

And two shirts for Kyle. He's all ready to go pick out new fabric too. He thinks I am now his personal wardrobe slave.

Bears

2011-03-05T13:12:00.000-08:00

Maybe it's just the outfit, but I think Felix and Story look so alike!

Incompetency

2011-03-04T17:51:00.000-08:00

For all of you who say I'm an amazing knitter, here's a little proof that it's not all it's cracked up to be, as I don't usually blog my flops. Kyle designed this hat and I made it...but in XXXXXXL. Whoops.

And to all of you who say I'm an amazing cook...wait, then this would be to no one. But here it is anyway, I was trying to fry something and I ended up with 20 little burns all up my arm.

Shortest Month, Longest Post

2011-02-22T07:17:00.000-08:00

So with the help of the tripod Erinn gave me, we gave a family photo a shot. See how well it turned out?

I seem to be the only one who smiles in family shots.

Unless it's Kyle laughing at his poor upset son.

We watched Story when Kass went in to have Gauge. We took a break from hours of Dora to go to the park. Felix went on a swing for the first time and LOVED it.

Story did not love Felix sitting by her encroaching on her space.

After lots of waiting we got to go meet Gauge.

I thought the breakable baby feeling would be gone since I had Felix but I guess I've gotten used to how sturdy Felix has gotten.

And I've basically spent every day since with Kass at the hospital or her house, getting a lot of knitting done. Felix was batting at the yarn my mom was winding up like a cat.

Kass asked me to make Story a hat, and I ended up making Gauge and Felix ones with the extra yarn.

Kass got the idea from her friend's blog and I just figured out how to copy them.

Last night our kitty welcomed Spring in by bringing in a dead bird. Oh joy. Better than live snakes at least.

Jamie is on a bracelet making rampage. She made Felix one and it looks adorable!

Lastly, after Andy rearranged our videos because I had left the middle open for weeks to do this project I decided it was time to get it done. When I bought the dvd holders I hugely overestimated so there was tons of open space so we filled it in with pictures.

Homewrecking: My new hobby

2011-02-08T15:36:00.000-08:00

So I used to watch Pokemon back in the day when I nannied Matthew and Andy. Then Cole came to the Halloween party and I realized Pokemon was back. Then when I came across this site (here) I decided to make Pikachu for Cole. And I made Finn from Adventuretime for Riley.

Little did I know Cole did not have room in his heart for two best friends. If you know Cole, you know that for the past several years, Nooni (sorry for the spelling), a stuffed bunny I believe, has been Cole's best friend. However, in the week following me giving Cole Pikachu, Rainey found an abandoned Nooni in her room and Pikachu in his place on Cole's bed. Rainey took pictures, but I couldn't get them to load. Rainey labeled me a homewrecker. I had no idea what I was doing.

This is Finn from Adventure Time. They and Kyle love that show, I don't. Especially with how difficult this toy was to make. I got the pattern here.

Baptism Cookies

2011-02-08T15:23:00.000-08:00

Do you remember the barbeque in which Rainey held up her empty tupperware in triumph that all of what she brought had gotten eaten. That's kind of how I felt at Maggie's baptism. But I can't really take the credit. Back when I worked I had a fabulous friend, Kendra. When she made cookies and brought them to work to eat them, she wouldn't just share them with me, she would bring some specially designated for me. She's the best. Her husband is also the best. He would designate some for me when he was the one making cookies. So anyway, this is Kendra's recipe. They are super fast to make, so I thought I'd share. Especially since I haven't blogged in ages. Here it is:

Mix together:
1 box of chocolate cake
2 eggs
1/3 Cup oil
1/2 bag of chips (chocolate or white--I prefer white)

Bake 5-8 minutes at 350 degrees.

First ER Trip

2011-01-30T10:44:00.000-08:00

Yesterday we noticed that Felix was seeming somewhat dehydrated on top of having Bronchiolitus, so we called the doctor and were sent to the Emergency Room.

Look how teeny he is in the hospital bed!!

We were at the hospital for 2.5 hours and at the pharmacy for about another .5 hour, all after his bed time. But he was so happy and playful with the doctors the whole time. He even got an x-ray and we had to stretch him out on the table. The tech said babies always cry at that part and he was just so excited the whole time. He's such a good baby. We found out his antibiotics for his bronchiolitus was unnecessary because he has a virus, and was making him worse by giving him really awful diarrhea, which was dehydrating him and giving him a horrible diaper rash. In fact, the only time he cried at the hospital was when we had to change his diaper. It was the saddest thing, I almost started crying.

So instead of antibiotics we were given this inhaler and face mask to help him breathe easier.

It looks really sad, but he actually laughs most of the time that we do it and tries to eat the mask. The mask is to help him with the inhaler, since babies don't know how to use them. And after just one day off the antibiotics he is doing so much better.

Kitty Hit Puberty

2011-01-24T18:32:00.000-08:00

And finally got a bra! We're so proud of her.

New Stuff

2011-01-18T09:45:00.000-08:00

First of all, sorry to Rob, Kyle's friend, who thinks my blog is too Felix-centric. You better run away now. We've been trying out a few new things at home with Felix. It's been funny to see his face.

He started using his saucer toy. He would face plant a lot, but he's learned to pick himself up. But we have to stick a ginormous textbook under his feet so that he can reach.

We also have been trying out taking baths in deeper water, which makes him VERY nervous. And we have started trying out solids--which he is also not very sure about...as you can see.

This isn't new, but it's sure cute:

And lastly, I tried putting him in a summer outfit before he grew out of it and it was adorable.

Our First Week

2011-01-09T19:49:00.000-08:00

This was our first week of the year. The cat found some great places to sleep since I've been better about keeping Felix's door shut. Her new favorite is the toilet paper basket (since it got emptied and not refilled yet).
And her second choice is on the towels...so don't use the top towel if you shower at our house.
Felix really got into his gym and is moving around a ton. He twisted himself all around, knocked the arch out and ended up on top of it.

Then later when Kyle tried to pick him up from his gym he refused to let go, no matter how high Kyle lifted him.

I finished making a minion for Jessica who was gushing about Despicable Me, which is for sure my new favorite movie. Here's the pattern: http://wolfdreamer-oth.blogspot.com/2010/07/despicable-minion.html

And Andy came over to play Super Nintendo and watching Kiki's Delivery Service. It was so much fun to have him over. He told me: "Dying is not appropriate". Felix held his own bottle for a good ten seconds, maybe less, I'm a pretty poor judge of time.

And he loves to suck on everything. I know he's just a baby, but I am TERRIFIED he is going to grow up to be that little boy who sucks on his shirt all through elementary school.

Felix and the Cats

2011-01-06T16:13:00.000-08:00

This is Felix.

This is the cat.
This is Felix and the cat.

And this is our real cat who INSISTS on sleeping in Felix's crib, even if I lay Felix right on top of her.

And if his room is closed off to her she will sit on top of me no matter how inconvienant it is, as she is proving this very minute by sitting on my hands as I try to type.

2010

2011-01-03T11:02:00.000-08:00

Felix obviously was the biggest part of our year, but here's a review of 2010 anyway:

The year started off in Rome, the best trip of our lives. We ran in the new year from our hotel room watching Star Trek since we were exhausted from touring.
We were welcomed home from our trip by a massive flood that destroyed our kitchen. We spent the first five weeks of the year in Wendy's basement while we waited for renovations to finish.
It was in said basement that we found out we were pregnant.
We were not excited because of the 2009 miscarriage fiasco, until we heard the heart beat. Then we couldn't stop smiling.
It was a long, exhausting, barf filled pregnancy.
But we still had lots of fun trips, including Vegas, Tuachan, Bear Lake, and of course I went to Seattle.
We had Felix in September and it was such a great experience, but really really hard at first.
And it wouldn't be a complete year if I didn't change jobs! I was going to work and Kyle was going to stay home, but that plan got changed at the very last minute. And I am very very happy about that!
Things leveled out after a couple months of having Felix, but are pretty uneventful.
We ended the year with our traditional early Christmas followed by another Christmas :) It was great. A really eventful, great, exhausting year.

Ugh, ugh, ugh

2010-12-30T19:50:00.001-08:00

So, I was watching Narnia tonight with Shauna and when this scene with Lucy started where she does some incantation and magical snow appears and she thinks it's all wonderful.

As she stood in wondering awe, I thought, "Only a kid would think snow is magical". Because it isn't. It sucks. I hate it. And the last 24 hours reminded me why. First, yesterday I got stuck in the snow and took a half hour to get out. Then, on my way home from the movie with Felix in the back my car started skidding out of control when I tried to stop for a light. Instead of stopping, I slid straight through the intersection and did a 360. Luckily, there was no one on my side of the road or in the intersection and I slammed into the sidewalk and stopped. But while we skidded and spun around I found myself yelling, "HOLD ON FELIX!!!!" I don't know how much good that did, but it was all I could do. It was horrible. I teared up and drove straight home and resolved to not go anywhere until the weather clears.

Creations

2010-12-28T09:57:00.000-08:00

Andy and I have both been hard at work. Here are our creations. This is a Sponge Bob collage from Andy and covers our entire kitchen wall. Mine is Oscar the Grouch from Sesame Street.

Merry Christmas to us!

2010-12-25T08:12:00.000-08:00

Pretty good picture, eh? You probably think we had someone here to take it. But no, I totally got a flexible tripod from Kyle's sister! But okay, today wasn't our real start to Christmas. It started about 8 days ago, with this amazing present. I couldn't wait, so last Friday we had our first Christmas eve. I made this sweater for Kyle:
He told me I was really weird. But he loves it. Even if it weighs like 17 pounds.

Kyle got me a book and all the Narnia books on CDs.

And he got Felix this head boppy to help him fix his flat head. That's a gift that keeps on giving...I don't remember who said that to us about the present. But it's very true.

On "Christmas Morning" we got Felix all these presents. He was very appreciative and interested. I promise. That turtle is a night light that lights constelations on the ceiling.

Kyle loved the medicine cabinet I got him, he doesn't have to go off to his mom's empty house up the hill to cut his hair anymore. Everyone is glad about that. Especially his parents (who bought him a hair cut set for a past Christmas in hopes of getting rid of him).

Kitty immediately set out to ruin our Christmas tree once and for all. I think she was mad about us not buying her any presents.

She almost knocked it over and managed to put out half the lights, so I set to take down the tree even though real Christmas wasn't here. I was sick of fighting with her.

So on real Christmas Eve we didn't have any plans because Kyle's mom thought it was worried about it being too foggy to drive down there. Then Wendy invited us over for dinner and we had a wonderful Christmas Eve night. It was really perfect.

Jer was busy building a foosball table.

While everyone else obsessed over the baby.

And the baby obsessed over Jamie. He really loves that girl.

Then as always, we had to leave because of Felix. But I guess it was more my fault, since I forgot to bring his food. We put him to bed and watched Despicable Me, which was very pleasantly surprisingly great. I think some of my Christmas money will be spent on the kitty book. If you haven't seen it, you gotta. In the morning we argued about when to get up (the person who had just got up with Felix wanted to get up). We had a couple more presents for each other because Kyle said he was going to be too disappointed and so we had to get something for our stockings. Kyle got wood carving equipment and I got cds and a new necklace!

Ch, Ch, Ch, Changes

2010-12-24T07:57:00.000-08:00

Before:

After (at nearly double the weight and a lot less screaming in the bath):
Before:

After (thanks dad for helping!):

Overalls...really?

2010-12-16T16:31:00.000-08:00

In 7th grade I could not find jeans that looked good on me. I searched and searched and never found any. I found that skirts looked great on me, but a stupid 8th grader declared every day as Friday Flip Up day and that was the end of me wearing skirts. So I finally found a pair of overalls that I thought I looked okay in and that was the best I could find. One day this girl asked why I wore the same pants every day and I lied and told her I had multiple pairs. This was a time of horrible nerdiness and immense self loathing, and with time overalls got associated with this awful feelings. So after 7th grade I decidedly hated overalls and banned them from my life. That included my kids' lives so I swore never to buy Felix any. Then I happened to get two pairs of overalls from my showers...and he finally hit the size that they were so I decided to try them on him as a joke to show Kyle. But then guess what, I FELL IN LOVE! He looks so cute in them, they are my new favorite outfit. I swore I wouldn't use my blog to gush about my baby, but I've been home alone all day and had no one to share his cuteness with.

I Forgot to Post...

2010-12-14T20:46:00.000-08:00

This fantastic picture that Erinn took of us. It really is the best picture of Felix ever. He is such a cute kid. Also, I didn't post some of Erik's great quotes. He was brainstorming ideas for tattoos for Felix and said, "How about a cross with God written on top?" And I told him I went on a mission and told people about Jesus and he said, "That's not a mission. A mission is climbing rocks and running through grass." He had a million other great quotes, but I can't remember them. Oh, I just remembered one more. I was worrying about what Kyle would think about something and talking to Keri about it in the car and from the back of the car he says, "Who cares what Kyle thinks, it only matters what you think!"

Seattle Baby

2010-12-11T19:02:00.000-08:00

So off to Seattle we went, Felix and I. Just Felix and I. I woke up the morning of the flight totally sick to my stomach. I wanted to puke. I was so nervous about flying with that boy. He was great in the airport. He loved laying in the seat next to me while we waited and just played. Then we got on the plane...and he started screaming bloody murder. He was hungry. Right then he was hungry. I was so frazzled I could not get the top on the bottle. There was a grandmotherly lady next to me. She told me to give him to her and she rocked him and I was able to get a bottle ready and she fed him and got him to sleep and then I could relax. The rest went smoothly.

Keri had a present for Felix when we got there. It was a grover doll. She was all worried that we already had a bunch and it was a dumb gift, but I have never heard Kyle so excited...and I'm worried that though Kyle has three of his own, Felix still won't get this one to himself--see why I worry:

I texted a picture of Felix to Kyle the second to last day and Kyle texted back: "He's even FATTER"--this picture captures that well:

It was so weird because I didn't notice any change, but everyone talked about how much bigger and chubbier he'd gotten in the week we were gone.

Keri'll probably kill me for posting this picture, but I thought it was funny. Keri says she didn't know she was in the picture, but that's quite the face...

Taryn and Erik LOVED Felix. Taryn said he wasn't better than the Cricut Kass brought them on her trip, but Erik did.

Erik was quite obsessed with him. Felix hardly got a spare moment to himself. Erik even climbed under Felix's gym and would lay with him and play with the dangling toys. And he thought everything Felix did was hilarious and fascinating.

We went to Seattle on Wednesday. It was quite the day out. Everything is so much more exhausting with a baby. Especially a baby who doesn't like the carrier and demands to be carried so that he can see everything in front of us. We went to the Space Needle. They give out free photos now...aren't they just the best quality?

It was CRAZY windy. So windy that it woke up my very sleepy baby. And made me look REALLY pretty.

But inside was relaxing and nice. And Felix enjoyed his bottle. Vic wanted to meet us for dinner, but what you see here is the last of Felix's food. Which meant we had to rush home...everything's so much more complicated with a baby. But he's so great it's okay.

Thursday night Vic made us a fancy meal. It looked so gourmet I had to photograph it. It was yummy too and even healthy!

But after dinner there was a disaster. Taryn came down and asked why her door was closed and locked and Keri told her because she was worried Erik was getting into her stuff. Then Taryn informed us that both keys to her room were IN her room. After a lot of problem solving and attempts to pick the lock, Vic just had to cut a hole in the door to reach in and open it.

Erik gave us each something to remember him by. I got a Charlie Brown Silly Band. Felix got a bulldog tattoo and Kyle got a picture of a raccoon. Kyle's got left at Keri's though...

Friday Jer texted and asked us to come to his house at 7ish for his birthday party, or whenever I got home--since my flight got in at 6. We agreed to come over for a quick cake and ice cream. So on our way to Wendy's from the airport Wendy calls us and asks how close we are and if we just want to meet them at NickelCity. That was quite the surprise to us. But to NickelCity we went. Felix must've been exhausted, but he was very happy and very good and just ate his hands up during the party. And though it was quite tiring, especially since the most fun games take a lot of energy, it was fun to go to Jer's party. But I was very excited to get home and go to bed after it was all over and to finally be home after our long trip. And I also can't wait to go back.

Merry Anderson Christmas

2010-12-05T09:59:00.000-08:00

Last night was the Anderson Family Christmas party. I was nervous about it because Felix is not a big fan of crowds, and crowd is the very definition of the Anderson Family. This is us on the train ride.
This is Felix with my dad. Felix was good during the first picture, but someone put their big hand up in front of the camera.Felix was NOT a fan of Santa, but that just made me laugh.

But he did like the train ride. It was cold, but he liked that because the party was so hot. Even though people judged me for not bundling him up, he was loving the cold and he loved the motion. He didn't even cry when it started raining on him.

And then the Stevensons had fun with him as you can tell below:

It was a really good party and I was glad I got to see everyone there. It was even the first time that Felix met a few of his uncles.

Given Time...

2010-12-03T22:56:00.001-08:00

I found that I could think of lots of things to buy. Kyle (joking or not, who knows...) said today that we should go out and spend all of the bonus we got. At the time I thought, I can't even think of anything I'd want to buy. But given a few hours I thought of lots of things I'd like :)

Like this beautiful picture by my favorite Kelli Murray, or a new bed, or a fence, or a cage for my cat who is ruining Christmas with her insistence on climbing the Christmas tree, or new clothes for me and my baby...my imagination went wild. I'm sure everyone's would.

The End of an Era

2010-11-29T20:45:00.000-08:00

I have been reading this book since Felix was born. It was so amazing. I have never seen the movie nor did I know anything about the movie except that it ends with Rhett saying, "Frankly Scarlett, I don't give a damn". And he was so not talking about what I thought he was talking about. Everything in it was a surprise and exciting to me. Just ask Kyle, every day I was telling him about the new exciting things that were happening. My favorite part about it was that it was over 1400 pages, because I never wanted it to end. This is officially my new favorite book. And that's a big list to get on the top of. Well, it's only competition is The Bell Jar, but at the moment I like this one more.

Happy November

2010-11-27T15:48:00.000-08:00

Felix and I spent almost all of Thanksgiving week at Kyle's mom's house. We went on Wednesday and were going to come back Thursday, but ended up staying until Saturday. It was really wonderful. It was great to spend that much time with all of his family (Erinn's family was staying there as well as Kevin and Kyle's grandma). We got to play lots of zombies (our favorite board game) and Elise just fawned over Felix the whole time, as did Kyle's mom. Which meant I got to do a lot of knitting and reading. Thanksgiving night we stayed up past 2am playing zombies and Kyle's wonderful mother (who hadn't stayed up with us) got up with Felix and let me sleep in. Kyle had to get up at 630 to make it to work, which was an hour away, but I got a pretty chill day. And Felix was SOOO good. No purple crying to speak of. He cried when he was hungry and when he was tired, and that was it, and he would quickly go to sleep if I rocked him with a binki. As for Felix's accomplishments this month: He is smiling like crazy--when he sees Kyle, when you tickle his mouth, when he wakes up in the morning, I love it. He laughs a little bit, but his heartiest laughs are in his sleep. He is sleeping through the night--Erinn read that medically speaking sleeping through the night is sleeping for 5 hours straight, and he does that almost every night. We've only been doing two feedings every night instead of five. And he has grown so much! He is now wearing 6-12 month old socks! And if you haven't heard--I get to stay at home with him. I quit my job and I am so so happy to be with him!
I didn't take any pictures of our Thanksgiving adventures, so here are my favorite pics from November.

Babysitting

2010-11-22T13:30:00.000-08:00

I know Amy does this all the time, but I was pretty proud of myself for watching a 2 year old, a 1 year old and a 0 year old while Kory and Amy went to the dentist. It actually wasn't too bad. My kid was the neediest. And it was so cute to watch Axel chase down kitty and Story run away from Kitty.

I Just Love This Picture

2010-11-15T19:50:00.000-08:00

Basically, I'm Amazing.

2010-11-12T15:55:00.000-08:00

I started a quilt class at the beginning of this year, like in February, and I just finished the top last night. We did one square per month and then the border. I got a little behind, and then a lot behind when I had Felix. Above is the top and below are close ups of the squares.

Best Game EVER.

2010-11-08T12:44:00.000-08:00

This game is amazing! It's such a good workout and it's so much fun, especially when I'm alone because then no one is judging me (for my dancing or the fact that I'm letting Felix cry a little while I work out--working out sounds better than playing a game). It has great songs and great dances. I love it.

The Babysitter's Club

2010-11-03T19:20:00.000-07:00

Felix's first babysitter was actually on the first day he was home by his Grandma Janet. She watched him while we went to Sonic to grab some food. But this was his first extended baby sitting experience. Wendy offered to watch him so we could go out. We went to see The Town (which is an AMAZING movie--I loved it so very much). I put our camera in his diaper bag with instructions to well document his experience. They did not disappoint.
Here are the four outfits he ended up wearing that night. Apparently, they think he is a doll for dressing up...

Actually, they bought him this outfit shown below and wanted me to find pictures of him in it and wonder where in the world that outfit came from, and then I would find it in his diaper bag...if only ALL the kids had known it was a surprise and hadn't told me about it...

And Jessica thought he stunk so he got a bath before getting his pajamas on.

And you just have to expect a certain number of these photos any time you hand your camera over to Jessica for any length of time.

Happy Halloween!

2010-11-01T16:54:00.000-07:00

We went to our friends' Trunk or Treat, so OBVIOUSLY I had to get him another costume, since no one there would understand his grandpa costume. He's the scarecrow from the Wizard of Oz and he is SOOOO cute!